Barriers and Antecedents of Forgiveness: Analytical Essay

Decisional forgiveness: It consists of deciding not to commit an offense against someone, and restoring the relationship to the way it was before the offense happened. When friends and loved ones make small mistakes, decisional forgiveness is often easy. Someone might say, for instance, “I forgot your birthday, could you just forgive me?” To which you could answer, “Of course”. While your feelings are hurt and you may even be furious, in that moment you make a decision not to hold a grudge or allow the offense to affect the relationship negatively. Decisional forgiveness is simple in the cases of minor transgressions by those we love or we want, yet greater hurts that cause us tremendous rage and pain are more difficult to decide to forgive (Worthington.E).

Emotional forgiveness: It is usually harder than pardon, but it can also be deeper and long lasting. Emotional forgiveness is what many people often think of when they hear the word ‘forgiveness’. Emotional forgiveness consists of turning your thoughts and feelings towards someone who hurt you from negative to supportive or even positive emotional pardon. Forgiveness of action and emotion are not mutually exclusive. Often pardon begins with a decision to grant pardon and refrain from holding a grudge or punishing someone for a past crime. Emotional healing will occur when time and prayer allow positive feelings to replace the pain and hurt that somebody has caused (Worthington.E).

Barriers to Forgiveness

Barriers contained feelings of impotence.  The offender refused to acknowledge the offense, If the offender ruminated on the injurious act.  Wanting vengeance.  The guilty party’s continuing transgressions.  The offender’s physical closeness.

Besides the barriers the respondents had certain factors facilitated forgiveness. These included feeling a sense of connectedness with others; focusing on the positive qualities of the offender or relationship, beliefs about being of benefit to others, engaging in meditation, self-observation or prayer, feelings of empathy for the offender, persistent effort (by the offender) to repair the situation, and talking to and support from friends.

Indicators of forgiving behavior

Positive emotional state: To let things go, and to be a forgiving person, it is very much important to experience positive emotions. Those who forgive, in their personal and professional lives, had a combination of good emotions. Experiencing positive effects can be the result of not keeping grudges within them, and it is very important because it affects their personal and professional growth. This can also be seen as an example of making life quiet. Experiencing positive emotions has certain physiological benefits, as it increases cardiovascular system functioning. In fact, it increases the likelihood of feeling potential positive emotions (Fredrickson, 2003).

Empathy and perspective taking: Empathy has been found to play a very important role in the healing process of pardon. Some participants said they could identify with the transgressor, and it could have made them forgive the misconduct. Even if others showed negative behavior, the participants sent a message that the situation was to be blamed, not the person. They could accept others, as with their weakness and potentialities. Only when a person knows how he felt in a similar situation can he conclude how in his or her own situation somebody might feel. Even if people around them had made any errors, they had a tendency to see it in a positive light. For example, ‘I know people make mistakes and I make them a point not to exaggerate it. I never blame myself or others, because I know that it’s human to fail, and if I were in that position I would have done the same harm” (P6). Previous research confirms this viewpoint (Worthington.et.al, 2000 & Enright & North, 1998)

Religiosity: Religiosity is considered relevant in forgiving actions because it is motivated by one’s own religious principles to forgive others and circumstances that are not completely under their control. The more religious a person is, the more likely he or she will forgive the errors of others. Participants felt that religious people might feel guilty of their sins when they are un -able to forgive others, which indicates that they have high levels of conscience. Many expressed the view point that their responses towards a transgressor could be different and that they put their trust into God and consequently forgive themselves and others more easily. (Neto, 2007).

Antecedents of forgiveness

Parental influence: Several factors, including early childhood experiences, can influence the development of pardon traits. Participants recounted the instances where their parents had shown compassionate actions in various situations and inspired their children to practice the same. Participants claimed they felt inspired at the parents ‘ encouragement. ‘ A Mother was badly treated when she was diagnosed with leukemia and was made to do all the house work, Inspite of all her sufferings she forgave them” (Paul.R, 2016).

Childhood experiences: Many participants viewed their memories of adolescence as a critical factor that fostered in them a sense of forgiveness. They encountered difficult situations in which reconciliation became necessary. ‘Father was missing for a month without informing anyone, he came back alone, it was very difficult for us at that point to accept and forgive. But I was able to gradually empathize with him and understand the circumstances that motivated him to do so. This particular experience has become a critical factor for me to look from a new perspective at the actions of other people and I believe that has made a huge difference in my life (Paul.R, 2016).