Analysis of Relationship in Our Life: Opinion Essay

Relationship means different things to different people. Indeed, “Relationships are complicated. They may begin happily, but then become negative or unpleasant without you realizing it” McMahan, (2017). There are different types of relationships- monogamous, polygamous, open relationship, long-distance relationship, and causal relationship. “Relationships require work and commitment to keep your love for one another strong, and marriage is no exception.”(Anu Ray, Nov 2017). Irrespective of the type of relationship one is involved with; the main thing is to have a functional relationship. Only a few have great relationships which I am among the few. This past week, it seems we renewed our wedding vows- affection and love we showed each other words could not describe. The way we relate to each other was so amazing-just like love at first sight. We felt like two young teenagers. He surprises me with a new phone, clothes, and two pairs of beautiful shoes. I felt like a new wife, with tears of joy rolling down my cheek, he hugged and kissed those tears and said: “I love you and will do more than this because you are a wonderful person” gazed at his face, I said, “I love you more”. we left the room after a few discussions to the bathing room to shower. The rest of the action was so romantic that I lacked words to express it. His action so much affected me; he influenced my self-concept.

Self-concept, according to Baumeister (1999), provides the following self-concept definition: “When people belief about himself or herself, including the person’s attributes and who and what the self is.” Whom you think you are is self- concept- I am loveable, humbles open-mindedness, impatient, optimistic. However, self-concept is subject to change, mostly when influenced by a “significant other-people whose opinion we especially value.” Another author’s definition-a “significant other” is someone about whom we have some specific knowledge. Thus, we see what we perceive to be his or “her.” thoughts, feelings, or expectations. “Archie O. Haller, Edward L. Fink, and Joseph Woelfel of the University of Wisconsin performed the first scientific research and measurements of the influence of many others on individuals. The results found that the expectations of the most other had the single most significant influence on the students’ aspirations — the same as my husband. I so much valued him and his words to the extent that he affected my self concept-positively. He made me feel self-fulfilled, more precious, and blessed. He brought out the strength in me. I began to be more conscious of myself- I use to be lazy about house cleaning, but he improved my cleanness of the house because of his action. That trait of laziness was affected, and I became hard working. Our emotions during this period were unbelievable.

Emotions, sometimes used synonymously with feeling is not an easy word to define or explain. The dictionary defines emotion: “a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others” .it also state emotion as “a complex reaction pattern, involving experiential, behavioral, and physiological elements, by which an individual attempt to deal with a personally significant matter or event. The specific significance of the event determines the specific quality of the emotion (e.g., fear, shame). For example, if the significance involves threat, fear is likely to be generated; if the significance involves disapproval from another, shame is likely to be generated. Emotion typically involves feelings but differs from feeling in having an overt or implicit engagement with the world” —emotional. Because some words are just too intense for some situations, and others are just too weak. I am going to add a scale for each type of emotion. We expressed our emotions in different ways ranging from being happy to cheerful-smile was visible on our faces, walking around telling each other, “I love you,” laughing out loud, tear of joy rolling down my face, playful-while jesting at the same time. I felt so romantic and sexy, cuddled each other while we kissed. The whole week was full of refresh emotions. “there is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone opposite of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.” ~ (Ronald Reagan), in a letter to his son, Michael, before his marriage. I can’t wait for him to come back from work, welcome him with a warm hug and tender kisses. We sit and talk about many things ranging from how we want the year 2020 to look. We feel so comfortable at each other’s arms while we listen to our opinions.

“Listening: the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and .or non-verbal messages.”(Adler & Proctor,(2017). listening -a concept of the interpersonal type- a process of making sense of others’ message, consist of five elements: hearing, attending, understanding, responding, and remembering.” In other words, understanding not only spoken messages but other forms of messages. “Listening style is how an individual attends to the messages of another person.”(Adler & Proctor,(2017). “There are different types of styles: People-oriented, listeners see the personal details of a speaker and not to the speaker’s actual message, Action-oriented listeners pay attention to the physical actions a speaker wants the listener to engage. Content-oriented, listeners see the meaning and credibility of a speaker’s message. Time-oriented listeners pay attention to messages that are short and concise, with limited attention spans or limited time commitments as a result of limited attention spans or limited time commitments. There is a mindless listening style- when we react to other messages automatically and routinely, without much mental investment. In contrast, mindful listening involves giving careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages we receive. For example, we engaged in both of the styles mentioned, at a different measure. When using a mindless listening style at a point, I noticed that he was half asleep does not respond as he used to when we started our discussion and also make some side comments that are irrelevant to the discussion. I, to some extent, was involved in mindless listening because I want to leave and attend to the kids, so I wasn’t responding well. While mindful listening, we were so attentive and responded to messages, questions we are deliberation how our year 2020 will be.we were planning our budget, talking of ways to save and spend money. What we are discussing was so crucial that we do not have an option but to be mindful.

Every relationship goes through one stage to the other despite the uniqueness of that relationship; each stage has its characteristics and issues, that is why some relationships last for a lifetime, and others do not last. The stages of relationship fluctuate. It goes up and down, back and forth. Some end in termination. Knapp described five stages that people progress through as they develop any kind of relationship, whether it be a romantic or friend-based one. These five stages make up the first half of his theory, the relationship escalation model. The steps include initiation, experimentation, intensifying, integration, and bonding. (He developed a theoretical model for relational enhancement, which routes the interpersonal development between two people. Knapp’s relationship model explains how relationships grow and last and also how they end Communication Models, 2014). The ten different stages, categorized two interrelating stages are Knapp’s relationship escalation model and Knapp’s relationship termination model. The two stages help to understand how a relationship progresses and deteriorates.